


Subtle

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...what was the point in trying to get someone’s attention, when you already had it?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subtle

Ray was certain he was going to go round the twist. He couldn’t decide if Gavin just wasn’t getting the message, or if he was choosing to ignore him. Ray knew he should have been a little clearer with what he was trying to convey, but the fact was he didn’t have the guts. Not just yet.

He’d always been the same and relied on more subtle methods to coax people’s feelings out. Rejection from Gavin would crush him, he knew it. He’d had far too many dreams gone sour and woken up with his heart aching and eyes stinging to think otherwise. He tried to convince himself that having Gavin not make any signs was best, because deep down he knew it was better that way – not having a word said to think otherwise.

In Ray’s eyes, though, he felt like he _was_ being clear. Maybe not conventionally, but clear enough. Many times, on his optimistic days, he’d think rather fondly that maybe it was just Gavin being Gavin. He wasn’t too good at reading into people sometimes and misjudged fairly easily. Maybe he was just being a little dense?

Then other days, that would change again. Those days where Ray was left alone. No work and gaming not appealing to him for whatever reason, and his head would run into over drive. Gavin could be responding like he had, because of one simple fact – he was protecting Ray’s feelings.

The hurt would settle in again, after that. He’d notice how long it’d take for Gavin to reply to his messages. He’d notice instantly if Gavin said he was going out, never knowing who with or for what reason. And then the second layer of paranoia would sink in, and he’d panic at just how much he cared.

Those days, Ray tried his hardest just to sleep and forget. Anything to drown out the doubt.

But as much as Ray hated himself for not making things clear enough and getting an answer, he at least gave himself some credit. Because he didn’t give up until Gavin _did_ finally notice.

His advances were almost unrecognisable at first. But as Ray’s actions seeped into the Let’s Plays more often, it got to the point where he sometimes had to make a note of reeling it in so others didn’t notice.

On the odd occasion they switched to a computerized version of Minecraft, Ray took advantage of the text option on screen. Having their own, mostly unnoticed, conversations. It was nothing too much to get the viewers to notice, but he made sure to at least keep Gavin’s attention. Pet names of X-Ray and Vav and silly little heart emoticons spamming up the text screen until Michael told them to:

_“Stop filling the fuckin’ screen up with shit.”_

It was the only way he had to get that kind of attention with Michael splitting them up, physically and verbally with the voices of everyone ordinarily drowning them out. Ray supposed it wouldn’t do well to get Gavin’s attention while they were working anyway, as much as he wanted it.

So for then, he settled for small bits of text and the odd glance in his direction, as hollow and meaningless as he thought the letters were.

The longer time went on, the more Ray tried to get rid of subtly and really tried to get the Brit to notice. Just _once_. That would all it would take for his courage to win over, to finally have some confidence in what he was doing. Anything else and he’d regret everything so far.

So when he started to coincidently brush his arms or fingers against Gavin’s own, and just received that wide grin and shining eyes, he grew that little bit bolder. Breaking any kind of safety net he’d been using to protect his own feelings.

For the majority of those advances, he almost had Geoff and Jack to thank. Gavin’s clumsy nature didn’t really fare well when setting up for recording. Ray sometimes wondered how the hell Gavin managed to work with cameras as much as he did. Most days, it seemed as though Gavin had tangled wires or was near to dropping something, and since Michael would have probably refused, Geoff or Jack would always ask Ray to help out. Like he’d have refused.

   “Wait, Ray, let me get this wire.”

   “How the hell did you tangle all these.” Ray muttered, ignoring Gavin’s instructions and grabbing for the wires the Brit was desperately trying to untangle. Or that’s what he thought he was doing. He more or less looked like he was trying to pull and stretch them to the length of the country and back.

The Brit tried to pull away for a split second before he loosened his grip, fingers brushing with Ray’s own for more than a brief moment. Ray tried to keep the subtle contact for as long as he could, feeling his stomach flutter a little as he manage to lock eyes with the Brit.

Gavin smiled, pulling away. And Ray wondered like he always did. _Just maybe..._

Eventually, there reached a point when Ray was beginning to admit defeat. He spent endless nights trying to come to terms with his feelings being shattered, and no matter what sympathy he could find, the idea alone hurt far too much. Days passed by with longing looks and hopeful smiles and eventually, everything began to blend into something a little emptier. A little less hopeful. Looks that Ray knew, if anyone managed to see, would probably cause a little worry.

It had been the longest time, and he found it impossible to think that Gavin hadn’t noticed how he felt by now. Ray had even sent Gavin a text telling him that he loved him once.

Okay, so maybe it _had_ been for a laugh, and it _could_ have just been sarcastic, but the sincerity in which he wrote it wouldn’t have fooled many. Apparently Gavin was an exception, and returned the gesture almost as soon as Ray sent it. Leaving him lost and confused.

He almost gave in, _almost_.

Ray decided that if his romantic efforts weren’t being returned, the next best thing was to deepen their friendship as much as he could. He started inviting Gavin out on a weekend. Inviting him round for game nights or bringing him to lunch. Always Gavin, every single time and no one else. By then, someone had noticed, which was inevitable, if he was being fair.

The bluntness of the approach had knocked Ray quite a bit, though. The way Michael brought it up was so casual and almost uncaring that Ray didn’t know if he was joking or not to begin with and replied with a defiant:

   “ _What_? No.”

The laugh Michael barked afterwards was enough to tell him he’d definitely realized.

   “C’mon, dude. I’m probably not the only one who knows.”

Ray felt himself relax at that simple sentence, and ripped the headphones from his head, leaning back and swinging back and forth in his chair. Ray had, until now, been able to at least keep his stress about the situation to himself. But finding that someone knew was almost therapeutic. He ran a hand across his jaw and sighed, noticing a shift next to him as Michael took his headphones off to listen.

   “I know one person who hasn’t realized."

   “Gavin’s dense as fuck, I’m not surprised. You’ve been skirting around him for months.”

Ray ignored the small wave of defensiveness that rose in him and shrugged. “He’d have said something by now.”

   “Have you actually told him yet? Actually confessed?”

   “No.” Ray almost snapped the words, frightened at the mere idea.

   “Then tell him and get it over with.”

Ray was about to protest, but Michael rolled his eyes and cut him off.

   “I know what you’re going to say. Just tell him, Ray. Trust me.”

…   …   …   …   …   …   …   …   …   …   …   …   …   …   …

Ray woke up to an empty bed like he did almost every morning and sighed. For a minute, he panicked, looking at the time and cursing before he realized it was Saturday, and cursed again. Settling back against the pillows of his bed, he took the time to relax, letting sleep slip away from him bit by bit before he got up.

Padding into the living room and being met with near-silence, his mind started to trickle back to one thing like it did each day. That single focus his life seemed to shift around. And that was Gavin.

No matter how many gestures he’d made or hints he’d given, the Brit had never really got it. And probably never would have. But Ray couldn’t find the energy to be mad at himself anymore. He’d spent enough time doing that in the past few months.

After all, how could he be mad anymore when he was met with Gavin’s beaming smile every morning?

   “Morning, X-Ray.”

Ray smiled, and didn’t get chance to reply as Gavin pressed a gentle kiss against his lips, feeling his smile rather than seeing it. The Brit's free hand rest on his cheek for a moment before moving to press a cup of coffee into his hands. It was the same routine every morning. Even if Ray didn't get to wake up by Gavin's side most days, he wouldn't give this greeting up for anything.

Settling onto the sofa in the living room, Ray curled up against Gavin by mere instinct and let any nostalgic thoughts wither away once Gavin pressed another kiss to his temple, asking him how he slept.

Ray wasn’t ashamed to admit that there had been a fault in his system when trying to get Gavin’s attention. All the looks, the touches, the invites and the suggestions had - in a way - gone unnoticed, but not for the reason he first thought.

Because, after all, what was the point in trying to get someone’s attention, when you already had it?

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to reblog or like this fic on tumblr:
> 
> http://teaandotherstuff.tumblr.com/post/43925108478/subtle


End file.
